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‘It may have happened, it may not have happened but it could have happened.’

It was a fine morning.  A hopeful morning, if my unreliable memory was right. After slogging 5 years in a job I had no interest in, I had got a lucky break to attend an interview for a role that was close to my heart at the same UK bank I worked with. The job description, among other things said I had to write everyday on the job and I was sold. ‘Finally’, I remember thinking, all those efforts sneaking in R.K. Narayan and Gabriel Garcia Marquez between physics and chemistry text books during high school have paid off.

My heart with a degree in literature looked upon this moment as a harbinger to greatness. My mom had to wake me up from my reverie of course to remind me that I was getting late.

Well, to say I was nervous about the interview was an understatement. But I was determined to give it my all. Now, the first and only rule to remember while attending a job interview is: you do not talk about the said interview – at all, to anyone. But no. I had made sure the handful of people I had in my life knew about this monumental event. The only advice I got from them was to act and be professional as my prospective boss was quite senior in the organization itself!

If only I had known that the team that was hiring really wanted to pick someone quickly and had not been interviewing many, my nerves would have been much calmer, and my stuttering would have diminished to an inconsequential level. But I did not know this vital piece of information then. ‘Be professional’, I kept reminding myself and decided to wear a full sleeved shirt to hide my tattoo. No one would want a tattooed 24 year old with questionable and unsuitable previous job experiences I told myself.

On the way, I thought up all possible scenarios on how the day will turn out to be. From immediate rejection to the image of me receiving the job offer on the spot among rousing applause and confetti’s – I had played it all out. And to my horror the interview went suspiciously well. The more I recalled the conversation with my prospective boss the more confident I was that I had nailed it. This was confusing. I never nail anything! I was pretty sure I will screw this up one way or another.

After the interview, the waiting period was too much to bear. I kept going over what I spoke for an hour in that closed cold cubicle. An hour is not enough to know someone; yes, we spoke about our favorite authors, the last book I had read, aspirations and dreams but I wanted to know more about this person in front of me. What was I getting into? What was the takeaway? Indeed, the excitement was palpable and these questions kept me awake all night. And, in that moment of craziness I had found the perfect solution.

Facebook.

Why did I not think of this sooner? People STALK other people on social media, all the time. I cranked open my laptop and started to type her name fervently. Lo and behold, there she was hiding conspicuously behind all the privacy settings. My fingers lingered on the ‘Friend Request’ tab for a few seconds before I accidentally clicked on it. Ping! I let the horror of what I had done sink into me. Now, there are only two ways how this can play out, isn’t. One, she ignores my request, or two she has no idea who the request was from and the notification will sink in the quagmire of her spam folder. And so I hoped against all odds that we will laugh this off when I joined her team.

I waited. Days passed. Weeks passed. Folks had started to enquire – ‘whatever happened to that interview you attended?’ I had run out of yarns to spin. And then I get a call – she wanted to meet me again. My head was spinning as I raced there. No one will call someone to meet just to inform them they did not get the job, right? I walked in and she looked me straight in the eye and asked – ‘Did you give me a friend request on Facebook?’ I froze. Now it was time to panic. As I sat there tongue tied trying to come up with a witty, intelligent answer, she explained how important this job was and how there will be many instances where I will have to interact with seniors in the organization and how I cannot give a friend request to each and everyone I meet. This went on for at least half an hour. The longest thirty minutes of my life. She enquired and wondered aloud if I was this impulsive about all the decisions I take in my life. She wanted to know my zodiac sign. Apparently some signs are inherently impulsive!

I came away laughing at the insane way I had screwed up this interview. I told my friends I wasn’t embarrassed at all at the turn of events. I found it quite funny even though I was disappointed at myself  I told them. But, hey! I am disappointed at myself all the time and it wasn’t my fault – my zodiac sign acted impulsive and stupid!

Months passed, I had completely forgotten about this incident (lie) and went about with my routine boring job when out of the blue I received a call from a polite Human Resource personnel stating that I was selected for the role I had applied months back and wanted to know if I am still interested. ‘YES’ I told her calmly and now apart from the occasional instances where a new employee joins our team (I promptly warn them about the usage of social media at work, particularly about whom they can give friend requests to and whom they cannot) we do not talk about this incident – at all.